Say what?

LOOK AT MY BEARD!!!! *








I have been catching some flak lately because I "mishear" things all the day.  When it comes in the form of people's comments, I will fight to the death that I am CORRECT!!  However, when it comes to song lyrics, the world wide web has bested me on multiple occasions.  I submit that had I been born 20 years earlier, I would have convinced everyone in my circle of friends to sing the incorrect words to many many songs with my dogged and logical explanations of why I am right.  I'm sure that Sarah can remember even more examples, but here are a few of my misquoted lyrics - typically sung at the top of my lungs in a car/room full of people - which is when it was suggested I might be incorrect, and also when I vehemently denied my wrongness until someone brought out a computer (damned Godless devices):


Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes

Actual Lyric:                                    Anne's Lyric:
She's precocious                                She's precocious
And she knows just what it                 And she knows just what it
Takes to make a pro blush                 Takes to make a crow blush


Laugh if you must, but here's my thinking.  Crows are handled rather reverently in mythology as the harbingers of death - they are the physical manifestation of impending doom - so I thought we were getting really deep here and that the girl alluded to in the song was so young and carefree that she was capable of laughing death in the face - capable, if you will, of making the Grim Reaper's favorite pet blush with shame for coming in the presence of something so childlike and whimsical.  I was set upon by both Bryan and Sarah on this one, and while every lyrics site backs up their story, I feel that even when Sarah attempted to explain how the correct lyrics make any sense at all by saying, "Yeah, even if you were a pro at not blushing, she could make you do it," it left much to be desired.  Sorry, Kim (not the songwriter, I know, but still getting the blame here).  "Pro" is certainly inferior in subtext to "crow."

(Yes, I've taken too many poetry classes.  Shut up!)

Under the Bridge - The Red Hot Chili Peppers

Actual lyric:                                            Anne's lyric:
Under the bridge downtown                      Sham-ada-bees-sap-ba!!!!!
(repeated by a choir behind Kiedis at the end)      

I actually have no explanation for this one.  I thought choir scat was a strange choice, but loved the sound of it anyway.  This was a Bryan correction while we were driving to Memphis - meaning I had been singing this incorrectly for about 15 years.  (I still sing my scat version when I'm in the car alone because it's SO FUN TO SAY!!!)

Like a Prayer - Madonna

Actual Lyric:                            Anne's Lyric:
Just like a muse to me               Just like the news to me
You are a mystery.                    You are a mystery.

Admittedly, it never made total sense to me why the news was so mysterious to Madonna, but I also figured that she wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer in any realm outside of marketing herself.  I thought perhaps the news was always so horrifying and sad that maybe she was commenting on the unfathomable nature of the darker side of life. It is hard to understand sometimes how cruel we can be to each other, right emotionally distanced millionaire pop star, with your oddly named children and your $5,000 diaper bag?  This was another Bryan fix on the way to Memphis!  When would I ever sing anything correctly without you, Fat?!?!

I Want to Come Over - Melissa Etheridge

Actual Lyric:                                   Anne's Lyric:
I wanna come over                           I wanna come over
To hell with the consequence!           To help with the concert plans!

I figured, who knows more about concert plans than Melissa Etheridge??  I mean, that's what she does for her JOB, so of course she'd be obliging to someone she's trying to court who wants to get their show on the road... literally.  Sarah discovered this mistake in the eleventh grade.  She STILL makes fun of me about it to this day. 


I'll add more examples as they come to me.  I mean, I certainly only make indiscernible phonetic noises when singing Zepplin, but then again, so does Robert Plant.  Amiright?!?! 

Anyway, I submit that on several occasions, I've actually improved the song with my misinterpretations.  Take that, illustrious song writers!  I am coming for you!




*This is an inside joke between Jeff and me.  We went to a concert a while back, and when the lead singer came out on stage he yelled, "Hey, Virginia, LOOK AT MY BEARD!!!"  This made me giddy with happiness and excitement because it is exactly the kind of non sequitur nonsense that I would shout if I were a band's lead singer.  I turned to Jeff all bright eyed and said, "That was hilarious," but he seemed wholly unamused - mainly because HE had heard (incorrectly), "Hey, Virginia, I'm glad to be here!"  He still claims to be correct and even attempts to make fun of me, but I know what I heard, and it is INFINITELY more interesting than the mundane statement that he came up with.